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Nisha Kohli

Hey, I'm Nisha Kohli. A philanthropist, an optimist, and a believer who believes that every big change starts with the small and little change that we do within ourselves

What are SMART Goals and How do they help you?

If you are looking for the answer to this question, What are SMART Goals? Then you are in the right place. In this blog post, you will find what are smart goals and how they help you. You will also find how to know whether the goals you set for yourself are Smart goals or not. So, stay till the end.

Happy Reading!

Everyone sets goals for a better future. 

You make plans, you make strategies to make everything work perfectly, but life doesn’t always happen the way you wanted. 

You work so hard to make things happen and to get results, but sometimes you fail to achieve the goals you set for yourself. You make several excuses for why you failed, why things didn’t work out, what didn’t work out, and so on.

But have you ever wondered that it might be the point you started was wrong which eventually led you to get no results? 

Tell me one thing… Can working in the wrong direction lead you to the right results? It cannot happen, Right? It’s like pushing a wall and expecting it to move. It’s a waste of effort. 

Think about it this way, if you want to reach a destination and because of X reason you put the wrong address in Google Maps. Now can you expect to reach your destination without troubling yourself? No, you cannot. The same is the case with Goal setting. 

this image is about setting smart goal

Goal setting is the most important exercise that everyone must do if they want to accomplish something in their life. I don’t know why, but many people don’t pay much attention to this, and then complain about not getting quality results. I mean it’s foolish.

Goal setting and most importantly smart goal setting is the most crucial part when it comes to getting good quality results. And in this blog post, we are going to talk about the same. 

Let’s start with figuring out what actually smart goals are. 

SMART Goals are nothing but the goals that are set to achieve quality results in a given period of time. Usually, they are a group of small tasks, which together help you go one step ahead to achieve the major goal you have in your life. 

Let’s get into this a little deeper, imagine your goal is to write an article. Now, there are several things that come into consideration when we talk about writing, and that are research, case studies, keyword research, grammar check, making the article inspiring, and so on. 

Now, if you sit to do everything at once, you will go nuts and nothing valuable will come out of it. So it’s better to divide this goal into smaller tasks or short-term goals which eventually contribute to writing the article. 

These small tasks that you set for yourself like keyword research are what we call a smart goal. Now the question is, how will you find out if the goal you are setting is a smart goal or not? 

There are 5 criteria that come into consideration when we talk about setting smart goals and it’s nothing but this acronym

S – Specific

M – Measurable

A – Achievable

R – Realistic/Relevant

T – Time-bound

How to know if the goals you set are smart goals or not?

S – Specific

The goal you set for yourself should be specific. This is the first and the most crucial part of setting a smart goal. It’s like, if your aim is not right, then how can you expect to get the right results?

Now, let’s talk about what makes a goal Specific. 

Imagine you have a website and you want people to come and visit it which will eventually contribute to the growth of your business. Now, if you plan and strategize to increase your website traffic then it will just be a goal, but if you want to make it specific then switch it and decide the number of visitors you want on your website. Is it 5000, 10000, or 50000 visitors per month? Just select a number and start working towards it. 

If your goal is not specific that means you don’t have clarity about what you want to achieve. In a situation like this, you won’t be able to decide what to do, and when to do and you will get nothing in the end. Setting a specific goal basically gives you a clear direction to where to land. 

M – Measurable

this image is about measurable goal

The goal you set for yourself should be measurable.

When I say measurable, that means getting the results that you can count in numbers. As we all know numbers are very easy to track and you can use them to figure out what’s working and what’s not. According to this analysis, you can make the necessary changes to your plan. 

If we take the previous example of increasing your website traffic, then setting a goal to get 5k, 10k, or even 50k visitors is a great way to track your growth. You can track the no. of visitors to your website using Google Analytics which is a free tool used by almost every marketer in the world. By tracking the no. of visitors to your website, you can make decisions on what to do next. 

A – Achievable 

The goal should be achievable. 

Set a goal that you can achieve by putting in your efforts and hard work. Don’t set a goal that is unachievable because it will do nothing but make you feel horrible when you fail. 

Like setting a goal to get 5 million subscribers on YouTube overnight. It’s not achievable and to some extent, it’s insane. Yes, you can do it providing you post some extraordinary content that goes viral and makes you a star overnight. But in 99.99% of cases, it doesn’t happen. So don’t set a goal is which you cannot achieve. 

If you really want 5 million subscribers on Youtube, then plan everything in advance. Put in all your efforts and make good quality content, built-up your audience, and then scale it over time. You surely can do it providing you do all your work perfectly. 

R – Realistic

The goal should be realistic and relevant. 

You cannot set a goal that is impossible to achieve like becoming a swimmer who can breathe underwater. Obviously, you can do it with all those oxygen cylinders that you can carry with you but you cannot do it on your own. It’s beyond human potential. It’s not realistic. 

Setting an unrealistic goal is just a waste of time and effort. You don’t get results and you feel bad about it too. So, what’s smart about it? Just think to yourself.

T – Time-bound

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The goal you set for yourself should have a time limit. When you set a goal without any time limit, you are more likely to fail to achieve that goal. 

When you set a goal and have no time limit, you tend to procrastinate and keep delaying it because you don’t have any pressure on yourself to take action. It’s not your fault, it’s human nature. You will get involved in your daily household chores and will find gazillions of reasons why you couldn’t take action. But let me tell you this doesn’t help you get any further to achieving your goal.

If your goal is to write a book then set a time limit and commit to yourself that you are going to complete the first chapter in a 2 or 3-month period. Because if you don’t do that, you won’t be able to complete that book ever. It’s a fact, and it doesn’t matter how much you are committed to writing that book. 

So whatever your goal is, set a time limit to complete that goal and try to follow up with that.

How setting SMART Goals can help you?

this image is about setting smart goal

Setting smart goals can help you in many ways. 

It gets you quality results

I believe this is the main difference between setting a goal and setting a smart goal. Smart goals help you get quality results. You can track them and can tell what’s working for you and what’s not. And then you can make changes to your strategies accordingly. This is what you cannot do by setting a random goal.

It increases your productivity

You often have heard from others that they can’t find momentum and the rhythm to keep going. But when you set a smart goal and get quality results for yourself, what actually happens is you create momentum for yourself. 

You put in the right efforts and you get quality results and the cycle goes on and on. Though it’s not as easy as it may sound but it’s not impossible too. 

It gives you mental peace

When you are stress-free, it gives you mental peace; there is no doubt about this fact. You feel a great level of satisfaction when you are stress-free. 

Smart goals are easy to achieve because it is not something that’s unrealistic. You can achieve them without any stress on your mind. It works like this, you set a goal, you achieve it and then you move forward and this just keeps happening, providing you don’t miss putting in the effort. 

Conclusion

Goal setting is the easiest and the most difficult thing, both at the same time. If you know what you are upto, then it’s the easiest and if you don’t then it’s the most difficult thing to do. 

In the above post, I talked about what are smart goals and how to know whether the goals you are setting are Smart goals or not. Also, we discussed how they can help you. 

Now, do let me know in the comments below, what your takeaways are and what techniques you use to set the goals that work for you. 

Keep Hustling!

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By Nisha Kohli, ago

5 Secrets to achieving goals 

Achieving goals…Sounds like a hell of a big deal. Isn’t it? 

Many people get scared just by the thought of it, which eventually makes them give up so easily on the goals they have. They get so overwhelmed and intimidated by this whole thing and they go like, Ohh… It’s not my thing. I can’t do it.

But tell me one thing, do you want to be one of them? I know you don’t want it and so do I. I don’t want you to be one of those who give up so easily because it sounds scary. 

Yeah… it does sound scary. You can also say it’s hard and sometimes very very hard but it’s not IMPOSSIBLE. You can achieve anything you think of; you just have to believe it. It’s like the first rule when it comes to achieving your goals. Because if you can’t believe it, you can’t achieve it. 

After all, if YOU don’t believe in your goals and dreams, how could you even think that someone else will? No one will give a damn to it. 

Here in this blog post, I will give you 5 secrets that will help you achieve your goals. Know that these secrets are not actually secrets but the mental shift that you have to do within yourself and obviously putting on effort. 

These 5 mental shifts might sound easy to you at first but it’s not. I’m not trying to scare you by saying this but think of it yourself if this would be so easy, then everyone would have been successful by now and they would have accomplished all their goals. So first, prepare yourself for this mental shift, and let’s begin with 

1. Mindset

There are two types of mindsets. The first one is Fixed Mindset and the other is Growth Mindset. And the main difference between them is, the belief that YOU CAN. 

This image is about changing your mindset

People with a fixed mindset always get excuses about how NOT to do something, and on the contrary, people with a growth mindset find ways how to do the same thing. 

Now ask yourself, which one of them is you? What type of mindset do you have?

To save you some time, let me tell you this, it doesn’t matter what mindset you carried till now, you can always change it. And to accomplish your goals and become successful, you have to develop a growth mindset. 

The growth mindset starts with this belief that everything you think about and everything you want to achieve in your life is actually possible. You can do or get anything in your life if you set your mind to it. It’s the starting point of everything you wish to achieve, before even starting it. 

It doesn’t matter how big or small your goals are, mindset is the first thing that you got to develop because, without that, you cannot even imagine starting anything.

Here are some books that you can read to develop a growth mindset.

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2. Grit

Everyone wants to accomplish their goals and want to live the life of their dreams, but why are only a few of us able to actually make it possible? 

How are these people different from the others? What do they do that others are not doing? What is it that actually makes them different from the crowd?

There can be so many answers to these questions. One of them is Grit. Grit is the sense of mind that a person develops in him/herself to not give up at any cost. It tells that it doesn’t matter what challenges you are facing in your journey toward success, you got to be courageous enough, become fearless and fight against them.

If you are a person who is losing sleep dreaming about the goals that you wanna accomplish in your life, then you gotta be gritty. You have to become a person with a strong mindset who says no to giving up. A person who is passionate about his/her work and is ready to take risks and become limitless.

3. Perseverance

this image has a quote explaining the relation between failure and success

Where failure lies, success flows.

The journey to success cannot be completed without failures. They are like twin sisters. You cannot expect to become successful without failing. Every successful person about whom we read in books and listen to their inspiring stories today, failed once, twice and so many times. 

We all know J.K. Rowling; she got rejected 12 times before she got Harry Potter published. Elon Musk, Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, they are the world’s most successful and wealthiest people. They didn’t get success in one go. They tried and they failed; some even faced huge losses too. Their stories are surely different but one thing is common between them and all the other successful people on the planet. That’s Perseverance. 

When you Google the term perseverance, you will get this: to keep putting effort without regard to discouragement. If you really want to accomplish your goals then you have to keep pushing yourself, even after failing multiple times. Learn from the mistakes that you made in the past and keep going. Always keep an eye on your goals and envision them becoming true one day. 

You can read stories of people who went from failures to successes here.

4. Resilience

this image says learn from failure

As you now know that failures are part of your journey towards success, you have to learn to deal with them. You cannot sit and cry for the mistakes that you have made or for the things that didn’t work out the way you wanted. 

Problems and difficulties are part of your life, they are gonna come whether you like it or not. Now it’s up to you, how you take them. Do you let them affect you or will you stand strong and fight against them? The choice is yours. 

Life always gives you two choices at every given point. Leave it or Live it. Many people just do the first one, they leave it, and then they complain about how things are unfair to them. But the people who choose to live it are the ones who are incredible. They are the ones who create wonders, they are the ones who are different from the rest of the crowd.

You have to learn to make yourself comfortable with the loss and the mistakes of the past. You have to make yourself comfortable dealing with these uncomfortable situations. So, don’t lose hope. Fight against the odds and be resilient.

5. Discipline

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Discipline is one of the most important things when it comes to achieving your goals. If you have big dreams and goals, you have to be disciplined enough to pursue them. 

Let’s take an example of a boy who aims to become a world-class swimmer. Now, being consistent or disciplined means that he has to make an effort every single day that will help him get one step ahead of his goal. Being disciplined or consistent applies in every part of your life, whether personal or professional. 

I know it is very difficult to develop the habit of making efforts continuously, especially when you are just starting out and you don’t see any results coming. But you have to fight against this battle going inside you. Commit to yourself that no matter what, you just have to take action. 

Many times we just focus on our goals and plan everything but fail to execute it. In such a case, instead of focusing on the theoretical end which includes all the planning and structuring, focus on developing the habit to take action. If you want to become a writer, then nothing will help you achieve that goal but to practice writing; and to practice writing, your clear goal should be to write every day. You have to be disciplined to write every day which eventually helps you become a master of writing.

Here’s a quote by Tony Robbins, he says, Repetition is the mother is the mastery. So, be disciplined and consistent enough to pursue what you dream of.

Conclusion

Let’s end this blog post with this quote, 

Success is no different than any other skill. Duplicate the actions and mindsets of successful people and you will create success for yourself.

– Grant Cardone

You just have to find the ways that HOW you are going to do it, what you want to do. And in today’s digital world with Google and YouTube, it’s not that difficult. Also, read a lot of books to learn from someone else’s experiences.

But the HOW part is secondary when it comes to achieving goals. First, develop a mindset that will lead you to take action. Because without taking action, there will be no difference between you and the one who doesn’t even know what we are talking about.

So, which of these mental shifts are you going to try first? Do let me know in the comments below.

Here’s what you should read next.

  1. How to develop a strong mindset to become successful
  2. 5 things to do to change yourself to achieve your goals
  3. How to become an Entrepreneur in 2022
  4. 5 qualities every entrepreneur must have

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By Nisha Kohli, ago

Feeling anxious? Do this to get rid of your anxiety

Feeling anxious and don’t know what to do? Then this post is for you. You don’t need to worry, as in this blog post, I am going to talk about the same. You will find 3 steps to get rid of your anxiety immediately and also how to get rid of it in the long run. So, read the post till the end.

Anxiety is one of the most common problems people face these days. It’s not something new. 

The reason can be anything, you might be someone who thinks about your career too much which makes you feel anxious or you might be a student who is feeling anxious because you are worried about your upcoming exams. But you need to worry, it’s alright, it happens to everyone. You just need to find out the tips, tricks, and ways that will help you go back to normal. 

3 steps to get rid of your anxiety, Immediately!

Step 1. Focus on your breath

To get rid of your anxiety, the first thing you need to do is focus on your breath. 

Inhale with a count of 1-5, then hold your breath for 5 sec, then exhale with you counting from 1 to 5. Now, repeat this exercise 3-4 times. This will lead your heart to pump blood faster which will increase the amount of oxygen supply to your brain. 

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Step 2. Count from 1-10

Next, close your eyes and count from 1 to 10. Not just count, rather gather your focus on the glabella(the area between your eyebrows) and then start to count. This practice will shift your focus from the problem or the situation that made you anxious in the first place. 

Step 3. Grab a glass of water

Grab a glass and drink a lot of water. Studies have shown that dehydration actually makes your anxiety even worse. So, drink a lot of water and stay hydrated.

Now, the 4 ways to get rid of your anxiety in the long run

1. Don’t overthink

Have you ever met a person who is always overreacting? They are like a bullet train on fire, all the time. If they might run out of milk or eggs some morning, they will just go crazy. 

Why do think they do it? Obviously, they don’t do it on purpose but that’s not the point, they still do it. The reason behind it is because they have developed a certain mindset that makes them react, and actually overreact in every situation. Their mind is set to overthink every situation they are in, good or bad, making them go crazy every time.

Thinking too much is one of the main reasons why people suffer from stress and anxiety these days. One of the most common examples we see every day about overthinking is how people overthink the society we live in today. They care about other people too much, what they are gonna say, how will they react if they do certain things or not, which ultimately affects them only. 

But do you know what the truth is? Everyone is so busy thinking about themselves that they don’t even care about others. Here is a graphic showing what actually happens.

This image is about what you think people think.
This image is about what people actually think

No one cares about the things that are going on in your life. Everyone cares about themselves only. It’s just a misconception in your mind that it really matters to others how your hair is looking.

2. Live in the present 

There are 3 types of people in this world. The one who always thinks about the past, the one who always thinks about their future, and the remaining ones. 

Which one of them are you? Ask yourself.

Are you the first one, who is always lost thinking about their past?

The mistakes you have made, the opportunities you missed, the loss or failures you have experienced; basically, regretting all the things that you could not have done or achieved. But tell me one thing, can you go back in time and fix those leaks? 

No, you can’t… Right? 

Then why make yourself go through all those hardships, again and again, that doesn’t serve you anything? Why make yourself all anxious that eventually affects your mental health? 

If this person is you then I would like to say to you that – STOP DOING IT, NOWWWW. Instead, learn from those failures and the mistakes you have made in past to grow in life. 

The same is the case with those who are always lost thinking and worrying about their future. The only way to make your future bright and become successful is by taking action and most importantly taking action NOW. The time you are wasting thinking about such things can be used in making something that matters. 

If you are a fan of animated movies like I am, then you would know what Master Oogway said in the film called Kung Fu Panda. He said, Yesterday is history, and tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift that’s why it is called a present. 

It doesn’t matter what you did in your past and what are you going to do in your future. What only matters is what you are doing TODAY. It’s a blend of everything, what you have learned from the mistakes of the past, and based on those learnings what you do today that is going to decide what you will be tomorrow.

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3. Train your brain

Everyday rut makes everyone go crazy. You are always like I need to do this, I need to do that, and why this, why not, the list never ends. Sometimes people even face trouble with remembering things and they puzzle things around that contribute to their anxiety.

Meditating for about 15-20 minutes every day can help you train your brain for your betterment. It soothes your mind and takes your mind to peace. It helps you train your brain for the upcoming odds and gives you the power to tackle them. 

This image shows a person meditating

And the cool part is that you don’t need a trainer or a coach to start mediation. You can start meditating today on your own with apps like Calm, Breathe, Headspace, etc. These platforms are trusted by millions of users who practice meditation virtually with industry experts every day. 

If you are someone who doesn’t have the money to put into such apps, then don’t worry. I have a solution for that too. If you want to start something, there is no reason to stop. 

Find a place that’s peaceful in your home, where you can be with yourself only. No one should be in that place where you want to meditate. Now, sit down on the floor and close your eyes. Forget everything that’s running in your mind and try to focus. Gather all your energy to one single point in your mind(or you can try glabella as the focal point). Practice this for about 10 minutes; don’t stress yourself too much in your starting days. You can gradually increase the timings afterward. 

4. Write it down

Studies have shown around 73% of the world’s population suffers from mental health issues today and stress and anxiety contribute to that percentage on a higher level basis. 

There can be several reasons that can cause stress and anxiety including unhealthy work-life balance, lifestyle, career issues, personal & emotional issues, relationship problems, health issues, hereditary, etc.

Now, don’t feel intimidated by these depressing words because every problem has a solution. And it’s too obvious when your problem gets solved, you become stress-free. 

Writing down your problems with details will help you to find the solution and reduces your stress level and anxiety to a greater extent. 

This image shows a girl writing

Take a piece of paper and write down your problems on it. Now, try to find solutions by writing every thought that comes to your mind, you will also notice that as you start writing, your mind will get clarity and you will be able to see things from different and newer angles. As your problem will get solved, so do your anxiety.

Conclusion

There is no problem in this world that doesn’t have a solution to it. You might not know the answers yet but it’s still there, just know it. You just have to keep digging and not lose hope. But in all this hard work, don’t forget to take care of yourself. Don’t make your problems or situations even worse by overthinking them. 

There is a quote that goes like this, 

Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it.

– Charles R. Swindoll

So, just be calm. No need to take any type of stress that makes you feel anxious and affects your mental health badly. 

TAKE GOOD CARE OF YOURSELF!!!

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5 reasons why writing is crucial for your growth

Have you ever tried writing? If not, then you should. 

Don’t worry, I’m not telling you to become another Shakespeare and write novels. Just try writing what’s inside your brain which they call Brainwriting.

If you ever attended educational seminars, webinars, or even conferences, you would know that it’s very important to take notes so that you don’t forget things and scratch your head later. It’s a very common practice to write to not to forget.

Studies have shown that writing things can increase memory power by upto 70%. When we start writing things with our hands, the sensory nerves push that information to get stored in our brains in a detailed way for a long period of time.

That’s a reason why people make a to-do list that helps them to remember important things. Tools like Trello or Asana help them with that.

Here’s a quote by Brian Tracy, he says it quite often by the way.

When you think it, ink it.

– Brian Tracy

Writing not only helps you with your memory but there are other benefits too. Here are 5 reasons why you should start writing that will help you grow.

1. Tracking progress

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Tracking your progress is very important for your professional growth and personal growth too. Whether you are working out and pouring out your sweat in the gym or sitting in a chair trying to solve a problem, it is very necessary. And the habit of writing can really help you with that. 

Writing your weekly or in many cases, monthly data or stats helps you figure out the leaks(if any) so that you can cover them up on time. 

For example, if you want to become a world-class swimmer and break records, you should practice competing with yourself first. You surely have seen a timer-clock the coaches have when their trainees are practicing, they keep records that help their trainees track their progress so that they can improve their performance. 

Also when you are a business owner or an entrepreneur, tracking how your business is doing is very important to grow. Tools like Google Analytics help you track your performance for a period of time that helps you to make necessary decisions. 

2. Reduce stress and anxiety

Studies have shown around 73% of the world’s population suffers from mental health issues and stress and anxiety are two of the main causes. There can be several reasons that can cause stress and anxiety including unhealthy work-life balance, lifestyle, career issues, personal & emotional issues, relationship problems, health issues, hereditary, etc.

This image is about stress

Now don’t feel intimidated by this scientific data because every problem has a solution. It’s just obvious when your problem gets solved, you become stress-free. And in this case, writing will help you do that. 

Take a piece of paper and write down your problems on it. Now, try to find solutions by writing every thought that comes to your mind, you will also notice that as you start writing, your mind will get clarity and you will be able to see things from different angles. As your problem will get solved, so do your stress and anxiety.

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3. Enhances creativity

If you haven’t tried doodling, then you should. It really helps you enhance your creativity and it’s another benefit that writing can provide you. This is a very effective technique to keep your creative juices flowing out of your head. 

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Artists use this technique all the time to create masterpieces. They create one piece of art and doodle it with something else to create another. The same thing happens with the non-artist group, they get ideas by writing down what’s already in their head. Brainwriting is always better than brainstorming. 

4. Decision-making

Decision-making is one of the most performed tasks in our day-to-day life. Each and every part of our lives includes decision-making from deciding what to have for dinner to making important decisions for your business. 

But in today’s hectic world, our minds are always busy. There is always something roaming around in the barren streets of our minds related to our work, personal life, and stuff that does not even have any value. It makes us can’t even think properly which affects our thought process and ultimately our decision-making ability.

But don’t worry, writing can help you with this, on a massive scale. 

This image is about decision-making

Take a notepad or a piece of paper and try writing everything that is making you crazy or things that you want to make a decision with. Now, write the pros and the cons of every idea and fact that you came up with, regarding the problem you have, and then make a decision that suits you the best. This practice will give you clarity and soothes your mind, which helps you make the decision on a factual basis.

5. Dear Dairy

This image is about writing

Everyone feels sad and lonely sometimes, no one can deny it. And it’s fine, it’s just an emotion like we have others such as happiness, joy, cheerfulness, shock, surprise, etc. 

You might be thinking, am I crazy or what? Comparing positive emotions with negative ones. But believe me, life is incomplete without them.

Can you imagine yourself just being happy? I don’t know about you… but I can’t. Life is all about experiencing different kinds of emotions and feelings. 

What do you think inspirational books are about? It’s all about a person experiencing certain things in his/her life, and writing them down in a form that others can read and learn from it. I’m not telling you to write a book and showcase it to the world (which you actually can, if you want to), but do it for yourself. 

Write down how your day went, good or bad; any fears you overcame, fighting with the odds, how good you felt after an achievement, or in short, what you experience in your day-to-day life. 

Writing every feeling, emotion, or experience in a diary helps you to fight against the upcoming fears and challenges in your journey towards growth. You can just read them afterward when you feel low or whenever you need them.

Conclusion

There is a saying that every problem has a solution, you just have to look for it at the right place, and in many cases, the answer lies within ourselves. Writing down stuff out on a paper really helps, 

We looked at the 5 benefits writing can provide to you. Let’s recall it once again, they are

  • Tracking your progress
  • Reduces stress and anxiety
  • Decision making
  • Develops gratitude
  • Enhances creativity

Don’t keep everything in your mind, put it on paper and let your mind relax. 

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How to boost your self-confidence?

Self-confidence is one of the most important traits to have as a human being, whether it’s in your workplace, at home, or in your everyday life. It counts everywhere.

But do you even know what makes a person confident? Well, there is no one-stop shop where you can get the recipe and all the ingredients that you will need to prepare the food item called self-confidence. 

Then what is it, that matters the most when it comes to being self-confident? It’s the personality you carry, it’s the way you behave or act with the general public.

Have you ever been in a situation where despite being capable and talented, you didn’t get the opportunity to lead a group of people? I know it feels really bad when you have the capability but still, it happened. 

You know, the reason lies within you.

There might be a possibility that you are not very good at dealing with people and your boss knows it. Therefore, he decided to give this job to someone else and not you. 

These little but huge things together make you feel that you lack self-confidence. But don’t worry, here are 5 ways that will help you boost your self-confidence. They are basically little shifts that you have to make in how you see and visualize things, and you are good to go.

1. Know your worth

Self-esteem is one of the most important factors when it comes to increasing your self-confidence.

Oftentimes people don’t see themselves as worthy enough to do what they feel. They don’t really believe in themselves which makes them dependent on others. People with low self-esteem don’t celebrate their life, they are the one who always feels that everything bad is happening to them only. 

Well, I want to tell them, it’s not true. Here is a quote, that goes like this

Life is happening for you and not to you.

– TONY ROBBINS

Know, that you are one of your kind and your views and opinions matter too. Think of yourself as a unique personality who is provided with unique gifts by the universe. Know, that there is something that only you can offer to society and you have the power to make a change. So, know it. Know your worth.

2. Learn when to say no

Have you ever been in a situation where your boss wants you to take on certain responsibilities for an upcoming project and despite being tight on schedule and having a lot to do on your list, you just say YES to him because you don’t want to sound rude? 

It happens to a lot of people. You are not alone.

A lot of people feel hard to say no to others for things they don’t want or feel like doing. And because they want others not to hate them or like them even more, they just nod in their favor, even if it costs them a lot. They might not see the consequences but they are putting themselves in trouble only by doing so, by being the people pleaser. This puts them into stress; the stress of how will they manage everything properly, or what if they won’t be able to, or what if, what if, what if.

Saying a clear ‘NO’ acts as a lifesaver in situations like these. I’m not saying you to be rude to your seniors and say no directly to their faces. But you can tell the truth; you can tell them politely that it would be very nice to be a part of this project but you have a lot of other stuff to do and you won’t be able to do this as your top priority. 

This way you can come up with a clean-green signal. And even if they push you to take that responsibility anyway, you won’t be the one who would be responsible for the mess. You know what I mean.

This is not applicable in just workplaces but in your everyday life too. It works with everyone whether it’s your friend or one of your family members. Just say no when you feel it; it gives you a tremendous amount of self-confidence, and it increases your self-esteem too. 

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3. Don’t take discouragement seriously

You often have heard this saying, you cannot please everyone and it’s an absolute true fact. By the way, in my opinion, you should not even try to please everyone around you, it’s just a waste of your time and effort.

Studies have shown that women are the ones who have more of this people-pleasing instinct compared to men. Roughly about 7 out of every 10 women have this. 

Discouragement is a part of living, don’t take it seriously. You cannot expect anyone literally anyone, whether it’s your family, friends, colleagues at the workplace, your spouse, children, or any other dear one, to encourage and appreciate you all the time. There will be times when they don’t and there is no need to feel bad about it. Instead, take this as feedback and improve accordingly.

If you take it seriously, then there will always be this thought in your mind, what if they don’t like it? And guess what, this thought won’t let you be yourself. You will always try to do things that make them happy and not you, which is not good.  

And when it comes to self-confidence, these things help to lower it down and you absolutely don’t want it.

4. Talk to yourself

This image says talk to yourself.

Have you tried self-taking? If you haven’t then you should do it. Self-talking comes out to be a very good way to increase your self-confidence and it also helps manage your stress levels.

Everyone talks to themselves in their mind, but when it comes to increasing your self-confidence, you should consider talking to yourself – OUT LOUD.

It’s a very effective way to let everything that’s in your heart come out which by the way is very necessary. Talking to yourself increases your self-confidence and gives you mental peace, as now you have yourself to whom you can talk about anything you feel like.

You can practice talking to yourself in the mirror for about 10-15 minutes every day. This practice will give you an effective boost in your confidence as it’s you only whom you are talking to. You know what your flaws are and you can work on them accordingly. 

5. Stop doubting yourself 

Often times people say certain things that they truly believe in and think about it the very next moment. Their mind goes like, Oh…did I say it right? Did I do the right thing? I shouldn’t have said that. 

And some are even worse, they don’t believe in themselves. They don’t believe that they can be right, that they can have a unique point of view. People like them don’t really expect themselves to be good at something. They are always doubting themselves which sometimes makes others take advantage of them.

This image says believe in yourself.

I mean come on people, you haven’t done anything wrong. So, just stop questing and doubting yourself. Just be brave enough to stand strong. Take a stand for yourself and fight for what you believe in. If you don’t take a stand for things that you believe are right, you will just find yourself doing what others want you to do.

If you don’t believe in yourself, then how can you expect others to believe in you? No one even cares how good you are at what you do, they only care about how you present yourself and get them the results. 

So, just be bold and brave, you haven’t done or said anything wrong. If you believe in certain things, then just be courageous and take a stand for yourself. 

Conclusion

There are actually no typical steps that work for everyone that you can also follow and it will boost your self-confidence to the sky. No, it doesn’t work like that. Every individual is different and hence their strengths and weaknesses are too. 

A person might feel it hard to talk to others confidently while the other may not. They both might have different points of view when it comes to being confident.

And here, the 5 ways that I talked about, are more on a broad-level basis to help as many people as possible, which are

  • Know your self-worth
  • Learn to say ‘NO’
  • Don’t take discouragement seriously
  • Talk to yourself 
  • Stop doubting yourself

Hope this will helps you to boost your self-confidence. What are the others ways that you apply to your life that boost your self-confidence? Do tell me in the comments below.

Here are some posts that you might like to read next.

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By Nisha Kohli, ago

7 effective ways to double your productivity

Hey, do you struggle when it comes to productivity? Do you need a lot of time for completing a small task? Are you the one who is always been asked to complete things on time and gets to listen: Hey, how much more time do you need to complete this small thing?

If any of them is you, then this post is for you as I’ll share 7 ways that are super effective and will double your productivity at your workplace and in your career in general.

Now, if you are among them, the very first thing I want to say to you is, don’t worry; there is nothing in this world that you can’t improve. There are so many people in this world who work their a** off to get things done but don’t get the desired results on time. You are not alone, we together can figure this out or should I say it as Marie Forleo do, Everything is Figureoutable.

Now, let’s talk about those 7 effective ways that will help you double your productivity.

1. Setting clear goals

There is no need to say why setting goals is important to get things done. But it doesn’t help to just set goals when it comes to productivity. You have to set clear goals if you want to work faster and increase your productivity to get things done on time.

You might be wondering what’s the difference. Well, setting goals is for overall growth but setting clear goals is basically for one particular day or for the next couple of hours doing a particular task. In other words, creating boundaries for your daily tasks. 

Think of it this way, you have an article to write about increasing stress and anxiety in today’s world. Now, there are several small tasks that come into consideration when you create something like that including research and development, keyword research, working on grammar, making the article inspiring, and XYZ.

Now the main goal is to write the article but the clear goal is what you are going to do in order to achieve your main goal. What clear goal/s are you going to set for yourself to work on for the next couple of hours that will take you one step ahead?

Let’s say you have decided to work on making the article inspiring, so it becomes your clear goal now. Therefore, when it comes to increasing your productivity focus on setting clear goals instead of setting random goals.

This graphic show the difference between setting goal and setting clear goal

2. Do one thing at a time

When you finally sit and start your work, there is a lot of stuff (both work-related and non-work-related) comes to your mind, like pending tasks, upcoming tasks, problems to be solved, new thoughts & ideas, and other kinds of crap; and it becomes very difficult to concentrate on your work which eventually affects your productivity in a bad way. It also makes you feel overwhelmed, and overburdened and it makes you go nuts.

In a situation like this, you should try to focus on just one particular thing at a particular time. Imagine yourself working on a presentation but along with that, your mind is telling you about the upcoming tasks that you have to do, which actually doesn’t let you focus on that presentation. 

Usually, it would take around 2 hours to complete that presentation but with all the stuff in your mind, it took you 3 hours to complete the same. This is how lack of concentration decreases your productivity on a huge level. Now in this same case scenario, if you manage to train your brain and focus on the stuff that matters, you win. 

Focus on one thing only and not even think about other stuff until you are done with the prior one. Commit to yourself that you are not going to consider anything before you are done completing this one. 

PRO Tip: Focus on completing the important tasks first, it will take a big chunk of the burden out of you.

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3. Using the U-I matrix

Prioritizing your to-do list helps to increase your productivity and categorizing your to-do list using the urgent-important matrix is a great way to do the same. If you don’t know what the urgent-important matrix is, then there is no need to worry. It is a 2X2 grid matrix that looks like the graphic given below.

This is an image of urgent important matrix.

This matrix is used to set priorities by categorizing the tasks into 4 parts and that is,

#1. Urgent and important: Task/s under this category must be done immediately,

#2. Not urgent but important: You can plan or schedule the tasks that fall under this category,

#3. Urgent but not important: don’t waste your time and energy on these tasks and hire someone else to do them for you,

#4. Not urgent not important: eliminate these tasks from your list.

By doing so, you can focus on the things that need your time and energy the most and eliminate those that don’t. You can use apps like Trello, Asana, etc. to make the list.

4. Taking breaks 

Taking small breaks in the middle of the work is very important. It helps your mind to relax and think clearly. 

The Pomodoro technique is the best way to increase your productivity. It says to work with total concentration for 25 minutes and then rests for 5 minutes. Repeat this cycle four times and then take a long break for 15 minutes. You can also grab a cup of coffee or an ice tea if you want to. The graphic below shows exactly what you have to do.

This graphic shows how the Pomodoro technique works

If you want to know more about The Pomodoro Technique then you can check out this blog post: The Pomodoro Technique Explained.

5. Write

Writing is a great way to clear your mind and thoughts. Studies have shown that a human brain generates around 6000 thoughts in a single day which is a blend of everything including stuff that is important, urgent, crap, fun, sensible, non-sensible, and god knows what else. With this much going on in your mind, focusing on one thing and talking about productivity is next to impossible. And this is where writing can help you and save you a lot of time.

The pen is the tongue of the mind.

– Horace

Writing helps you prioritize your tasks and take the burden out of your mind. It also helps you filter your thoughts which is a must for making important decisions. Tracking your progress and growth also becomes easy when you start writing.

This is an image of notepad and a pen

Get a journal or just a normal notepad, and start to write what’s going on in your mind. Then categorize everything based on the typologies you might have. When you start to write and develop it as a habit, it will also help boost your self-confidence and give you the opportunity for positive self-talk.

6. Take a good amount of sleep

This is an image of a sleeping girl

Sleep plays a crucial role when it comes to productivity. The sleep you take has a direct connection to your mind and body; you tend to feel dizzy and your body doesn’t respond very well if you don’t take a proper amount of sleep, which ultimately affects your productivity. 

Most people stay up late at night watching Netflix or scrolling on social media which makes their minds tired when they go to sleep and it’s not healthy for your subconscious mind. If you don’t know how your subconscious mind works, then I would suggest you read this book called The Power of your Subconscious Mind by JOSEPH MURPHY.

You might have observed how your productivity decreases when you didn’t take a proper amount of sleep. You feel sleepy all day, your mind keeps telling you that you’re tired and you need to rest. 

According to science, a sleep of around 6-7 hours is considered healthy for an adult. The best time for healthy sleeping is between 10 pm to 5 am. 

Did you know? There are 3 stages of sleep: Deep sleep stage, Alert stage, and Dreaming stage. Each stage lasts for 90 minutes and the sleep is considered sound sleep when you complete this whole cycle(90×3) twice without any interruptions.

7. Change the environment 

The environment you work in affects your productivity a lot. You cannot expect to give your best and get great results by being in an environment that is not work-friendly. 

There are several ways that you can make the workplace work-friendly that will give you working vibes.  

Keep your workspace neat and clean; using a minimum no. of items at your desk really helps focus on a particular thing only. Instead of using warm colored lights which give the feeling of comfort and coziness (which is a big no at the workplace), using blue lighting can help promote alertness and helps you concentrate. 

Using colors or shades of 

1. Orange which helps to concentrate, focus, and increase your creativity,

2. Blue which encourages the performance and brain’s thought process, and

3. Green at the workplace helps you to relax and refreshes your mind to clear your thoughts.

Conclusion

There are several factors that come into consideration when it comes to increasing your productivity. You have to experiment a little bit by trying several tricks and techniques and find the one that works best for you. No one can tell you that better than you do. 

Which of these 7 ways that we talked about, resonates with you the most, and which are you going to try the first? Do let me know in the comments below. 

Here’s what you might like to read next.

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By Nisha Kohli, ago

6 habits of successful people that you can copy 

Everyone desires to become successful one day. But how many actually become one? 

A handful of people. 

But have you ever wondered what makes successful people successful, what makes them different from others, what habits they have, how they work, or how they do everything? If this is something that makes your heart says hell yeah! then you are in the right place. In this blog post, I’ll share 6 habits of successful people you can copy and paste into your life to become successful in your industry. 

Disclaimer: There are several other factors that come into consideration when it comes to becoming successful, and habits are one of those factors only. 

Now, the definition of success can vary from person to person. One might consider being successful by losing some weight, others might consider earning X amount of money and say proudly that they are successful. But it doesn’t matter what’s your definition of success, the procedure is all same. 

Here is a quote that goes,

Success is no different than any other skill. Duplicate the actions and mindsets of successful people and you will create success for yourself.

– GRANT CARDONE

Now, let’s talk about those 6 habits of successful people that you can copy and paste into your life.

1. Reading

Books are like soul mates for the people who are successful in their industry. They read, read, and read a lot. 

Elon musk, the world’s richest man who created SpaceX. Whenever anyone asks him how he learned to build space-traveling rockets, this is his three-word answer: “I read books.” Warren Buffet, one of the most successful investors in the world. He said once, he spends 80% of his day reading books and the rest 20% doing other stuff. This is how much books can impact your life.

This is an image of books

There is no wonder how books can benefit you as they are full of knowledge, motivational & inspirational stories, and whatnot. Learn from industry experts who have given many years of their lives to learning and doing things that you desire to do now and books can surely help you with that.

There are books available on every topic you can imagine whether it’s science, nature, health, fitness, mindset, psychology, food, technology, just name it. Develop a habit to start with one book per month and you are good to go. 

2. Setting goals

Goal setting is one of the main things you must do when you desire to become successful in a certain area. How do you think, you can achieve your goals when you don’t plan for them? 

Here’s a saying that goes, a goal without a plan is just a wish. 

Setting a goal is like setting your aim. If you are thinking about how it matters then think of it this way, when you don’t have a goal, what do you think you will work for or in what direction? Goals give you a way to proceed in a certain direction so you don’t get lost.  

Plan your long-term goals on a quarterly if not yearly basis then cut a particular task into smaller actions and plan them on monthly basis. If you are not a long-term planner, then just plan your next day or maybe for a week and take action accordingly. 

This technique will help you achieve your goals and also you can track them and make necessary changes (if any).

3. Don’t care about the society

One of the most common reasons why people fail to follow and accomplish their dreams is because they care about what others will say/think a lot. But let me tell you, people who are successful today are not successful because they do the same, but because they do the exact opposite. 

This makes them stress-free and contributes to their good mental health. There is no doubt and it’s actually needless to say why one should take care of their mental health. 

Related: 6 super easy ways to stay mentally healthy

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4. Value their time above everything else

Time is the most valuable and precious asset we have as humans. And People who are successful and experts in their industry know this very well. They know that they can’t afford to lose their time, no matter what.

Normal people tend to worry about their money a lot. They give a good amount of thinking on what to spend their hard-earned money on but when it comes to time, most people don’t even consider giving it a thought. This is exactly what makes successful people different from common people, they think of their time as money. 

Use the urgent-important matrix to manage your tasks and take charge of your time.

This is an image of Urgent-Important matrix

PS: You can always earn more money, but it’s not true when it comes to time. You can’t get the time you wasted ever again. So, use your time well. 

5. Writing 

Writing is one of the most effective techniques successful people use to take the burden off their minds. Studies have shown when you write something, you are more likely to remember things and it also promotes your tendency to take action. 

When you are working on a particular project there are too many things going on in your mind including ideas, pending tasks, long-term goals, and some other important stuff that you don’t want to miss. Writing everything really helps in such situations. 

When you think it, ink it.

– BRIAN TRACY
This image shows a writing pad and a pen

Take a piece of paper and a pen and just start to write everything inside your head, don’t worry about organizing and managing things at this point. Once you are done writing everything, then only start to categorize things. If you try separating things at the start you might go nuts as I do. You can also use apps like Trello and Asana for this.

6. Never stop learning

Learning is a crucial part of your journey toward success and it should not end with your schools or colleges. If you want to become successful in any part of your life, you must keep learning. 

When you are open to learning new things, you actually welcome new opportunities and new possibilities for yourself which eventually contribute to your growth. Usually, new opportunities come along with uncomfortable actions, for which skillset is necessary.

Now, one thing that you have to pay attention to is that, don’t get too overwhelmed when you start learning something new. Remember all the experts today, started as a student only; they repeated and repeated what they learned which make them now masters and experts in their industry.

Alison, Skillshare, edX, Udemy, etc. offers a wide variety of courses to learn and upgrade your existing skills. The courses on these e-learning platforms are both in paid and free versions, choose what suits you the best.

Conclusion

Becoming successful is a journey, you have to learn and unlearn a lot of things throughout your whole journey. And to start with developing habits that successful people have, can be a good start for you. 

Let’s recall what we have talked about one more time, so as to get this inside your head.

  1. Reading more and more books
  2. Setting goals
  3. Don’t care about the society
  4. Value your time
  5. Writing
  6. Never stop learning

Now, there must be several other habits and routines successful people follow that help them to be who they are. Do you know any of them? Tell me in the comments below.

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By Nisha Kohli, ago

How to work on yourself to give your best, every time

Do you want to give your best shot every time you play?

Well everyone does, but not everyone is able to make it. Do you know why? Because it’s not as easy as it may sound. Well, it’s not really about it being easy or difficult, it’s something else.

The problem with most people around the globe is that they don’t want to change anything and expect things to change for themselves, which is an absolute B S.

Here is a saying that goes, ‘If you want things to change for you, you got to change yourself first.’

You got to work hard and make changes in your lifestyle, your habits, your strategies, and so on if you want them to work for you. You can’t just be sitting around thinking about doing your best and getting the best without even moving an inch.

Now, you might be wondering, if you are gonna give your best shot, is there a guarantee that you are gonna win? Well, sorry to tell you; but it’s a No. Let me take you back to childhood when you were a kid.

Do you remember yourself in the first grade? When you were so afraid of losing the cycle race at school that you didn’t want to even participate. I guess everyone does remember, who can forget those days? But do you remember what your parents and teachers said to you, if not, it goes something like this, “It doesn’t matter if you win or you lose, but what matters is your participation and giving your best shot.” 

Life is exactly the same. It doesn’t matter if you win or you lose, but it does matter to participate and to live life to the fullest. Here are the 5 tips that you can follow to give your best shot and get the best out of yourself in any field of your life.

#1. Push your limits

This image is about pushing your limits

Oftentimes you couldn’t perform your best and there are several reasons to explain the same. One of them is having limitations & boundaries. You are bound by certain limits and boundaries that don’t let you give your best shot. They are the main reasons why you settle for less than you actually deserve.

You might have heard of this saying that goes, ‘Your only limitation is the one that you set for yourself.’ and this is damn true. When you set certain beliefs in your mind and say I can’t do it, there is a 100% guarantee that you won’t do it. 

There are no such things as limitations and boundaries when it comes to fulfilling your dreams and achieving your goals. You are the owner of yourself, you own yourself and your only limitation is you. 

So, it’s time to push all your limits and give your best. If you want something that bad, push yourself harder and harder to get that damn thing. Allow yourself to face every challenge you may face in the journey towards your goals. 

#2. Focus more on putting effort 

Tracking your results are very important for the health of the project or task that you are working on. Without that, you won’t be able to make the necessary decisions, making it very challenging to reach your desired goals. 

But it’s also crucial to balance it out with other things. Oftentimes people are worried about the results more than the work or efforts they are putting in. It’s good to put an eye on the results but not on a regular basis or it will drive you crazy. 

Tracking the results on a quarterly or half-yearly basis is a good strategy to have when you try to give your best and achieve your goals. Also putting more and more effort to improve your work is what you must take into consideration. You must focus more on what you put in rather than what you are getting.

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#3. Try different things

Great ideas come to those who dare to think differently.

Many people complain that they couldn’t give their best because they lack in generating good ideas. They often put the blames on others and say things like they are not as brilliant as Person X, or they could not be Person Y, he is too smart. But do you know, what makes these people better than you? It’s the way they think.

The way Person X or Y thinks and the courage they have, to do things differently makes them the best in their industry. And if you want that too, you got to find some ideas, thoughts, and strategies that are unique to yourself. If you are doing the same what every other person is doing in your industry then what makes you different from them? Nothing, right?

Now, you might be wondering, how will you find your unique move? So let me tell you this, you won’t find that by doing the same things, again and again. You got to try different things, from different angles; you got to do what others are not doing, you got to pay attention to things others are avoiding, and this way you will find the best and most unique move for you. Keep going and don’t be afraid to try new and different things.

#4. Taking breaks 

Sometimes you get your brain frozen and stuck on one thing; no matter how hard you try, you are just unable to make it. This usually happens when you keep yourself so busy and involved in one such thing making it harder for you to get them out of your head.

This image shows a person with a cup of coffee.

Taking breaks at regular intervals helps you declutter your brain and think clearly. It also promotes the generation of new ideas and thoughts resulting in giving the best of yourself.

Try The Pomodoro Technique, which talks about 5 minutes break over 25 minutes of work, and then a 15 minutes break after completing the cycle 4 times. It helps increase productivity by getting things done and not feeling tired.

#5. Research & Development

Your brain is like a manufacturing machine and you can get anything you want from it, providing you put the right raw materials into it. Research and development are like those raw materials that you put into your brain to keep manufacturing new thoughts and ideas. 

It helps you learn new things, hone your problem-solving skills and develop your risk-taking abilities. If you want to give your best, learning and developing your existing skills is a MUST to do. You cannot expect to grow without desired skill sets.

Google and YouTube are the best sources when it comes to searching and learning new things. Also, e-learning Platforms like Alison, edX, Skillshare, Udemy, etc. offer a wide variety of courses where you can learn anything you want and develop your skill set.

Conclusion 

Thinking about giving and getting the best is what anyone can do, but taking action is what makes the best different from the commoners. In the post above, I talked about 5 ways that can help you give your best at anything, and to remind you they are:

  • Push your limits
  • Focus more on putting efforts
  • Try different things
  • Taking breaks
  • Research & Development

Again, it doesn’t matter if you win or you lose, but it does matter to give your best every time. Now, I would like to ask you, What strategies do you use to give your best shot? Do let me know in the comments below.

Here’s what you might like to read next:

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By Nisha Kohli, ago

6 super easy ways to stay mentally healthy

Hey, are you mentally healthy and strong? 

Not sure about it? Let’s take a test; answer these questions in Yes or No. 

  • Do you forget to buy oranges when you drive back home after work?
  • Do you feel hard to focus on your work in the office?
  • Do you also forget to pay your bills and pay them on the very last day or when your spouse screams at you to do the same?
  • Do you feel often tired at work?

If the answer to these questions is yes, then I am sorry to tell you that, you might not be as mentally healthy as you might have thought you are. The questions that I just asked are the signals that your brain is giving you to slow down.

Studies have shown about 73% of the world’s total population suffers from mental health issues like stress, anxiety, memory loss, depression, lack of concentration, panic attacks, and so on. There can be several reasons that can affect your mental health including unhealthy work-life balance, lifestyle, career issues, personal & emotional issues, relationship problems, health issues, hereditary, etc.

This image contains a stressed woman.

Now, just relax; I don’t want you to feel intimidated by these statistics and science data. I just want you to know that it doesn’t matter what problem you are facing right now, you can solve it. I believe in you and I know you do too.

Life is all about having problems and finding solutions for them, right? So, just chill as I’ll be sharing my super simple tips that you can implement right away, starting today, and can serve your mind with better health. 

Note that these tips or exercises are both physical and mental. Some tips are more of like habits that you need to develop and some are total exercises for which you have to sweat.

Here are 6 simple and easy-to-implement things that you should be doing if you want to stay mentally healthy. 

1. Let go of things that are out of your control

Everyone has problems in life; some have big ones like career or relationship issues and some have small ones like they don’t know what to wear to the party because the dress they wanted is now spoiled.

Not even a single person on the planet can say that they are problem-free; including you and me. So, I just want you to relax and calm down; you don’t have to control everything in your life and the true fact is that even if you have to, you cannot. You cannot control every single thing happening in your life. 

We all know stress is a very common issue when we talk about mental health, and these day-to-day problems are the root causes of stress. When you think and think about your problem which actually doesn’t deserve that much thinking, what you are doing is wasting your energy and giving yourself mental trauma, which is USELESS & BASELESS. 

People who are mentally healthy know which problem is worth giving their energy to. They don’t pay much attention to things that are out of their control. They focus on the things that matter to them the most and work accordingly. This also helps them to be productive as they are fully focused.

So, it is better to let go of things that are out of your control than keep thinking about them and wasting your energy.

2. Take proper amount of sleep

Sleep is also an important aspect when we talk about our mental health. Staying up late at night and watching Netflix, playing video games, or scrolling through social media, is not going to support you in staying mentally healthy. The lights and rays coming out of these gadgets can develop insomnia.

Studies have shown that irregular sleep reduces the reach of glucose levels in the brain by upto 6% and which by the way increases your sugar intake. It makes you feel sleepy and tired all day which further reduces your focus and concentration levels. It also affects your productivity at work as your mind is not in its best state. 

This image contains a sleeping girl.

According to science, the sleep of 6-7 hours is considered healthy for an adult. The best time for healthy sleeping is between 10 pm to 5 am. 

Did you know? There are 3 stages of sleep: Deep sleep stage, Alert stage, and Dreaming stage. Each stage lasts for 90 minutes and the sleep is considered sound sleep when you complete this whole cycle(90×3) twice without any interruptions. So, make sure to take quality sleep without any disturbances.

3. Meditate every day

Meditation acts as a detoxifier when it comes to staying mentally healthy. It reduces your stress and anxiety upto 84%. It helps your mind to freshen itself and helps you to think clearly. Meditating every day helps you to filter your thoughts and make a clear decision. It also improves your concentration level and memory power.

This image contains a woman meditating.

Now, it might take you a week or so before you actually start enjoying meditation. You should make a habit of mediation and do it every day to see quality results. It’s not something that you started one day and expect the results the very next day. It might be difficult at the start, you might feel bored or fall asleep but when you cross the struggle period you are gonna love it. 

Start with 15 minutes every day and gradually increase the timings as per your need. You can meditate virtually using apps like Calm, Breethe, Headspace, Buddhify, etc.

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4. Don’t care about what others will say/think

One of the most common reasons that cause you mental trouble is that you care a lot about others. What are they gonna say, how they will feel if I do this/that, what they are gonna think, and the list never ends.

But the truth is everyone is so busy thinking about themselves that they don’t even care about others. Here is a graphic showing what actually happens.

This is a graphic telling what you think others think.

Really, no one cares about the things that are going on in your life. Everyone cares about themselves only. It’s just a misconception that is in almost every mind.

This is a graphic telling what people actually think.

Besides this fact, there will be some people who will take more interest in your life than their own. For people like those, I would say just let it be. You can’t do anything with these guys. They are gonna say/think or feel, the way they want to; no matter what you do. So, it’s better for you to focus on yourself and not what others say/think or feel about you because thinking about these useless things will going to give you mental trouble and ultimately affect your mental health, negatively.

5. Know that your happiness is your responsibility

Does your happiness depend on someone else? Is someone else responsible for making you happy?

PS: Someone means any person other than YOU (any includes your spouse/partner too).

If the answer to this question is Yes, then you need to worry a little, because it should not be the case. 

This image contains a happy lady.

Mostly, women are the ones who fall under this category. They are the ones who are ever ready to make sacrifices for their family and society. They don’t prioritize themselves and their happiness. Generally, they are dependent on their husbands or children to make them feel happy and they feel guilty to choose their happiness over others’.

If you are a woman who is reading this right now, I just want to tell you, Please don’t do this to yourself. You deserve to be happy and no one can do this for you. You have to do this by yourself, for yourself.

Your happiness is your responsibility and not someone else’s.

Happiness is not something that will come to you, it is something you choose for yourself, each and every time. Being happy is totally in your hand. People who don’t have the key to their happiness in their own hands are the ones who are always dependent on others to make them feel happy. They are more likely to suffer(without any reason) as they keep their happiness behind others. 

Lack of happiness in someone’s life is the main reason they get depressed and live life in misery. This affects their mental health badly. People who are mentally healthy know what makes them happy and they do the same to be happy. They know that if there is something that’s bothering them, it’s their responsibility to change it. No one else is going to do it on their behalf. 

Related: How to be happy even when you don’t have a reason

6. Take proper care of what you eat

You often have heard of this saying – A healthy mind stays in a healthy body. 

Not to mention but your eating habits do affect your mental health. Studies have shown that people who eat spicy food a lot tend to be more aggressive and suffer mood swings quite often in comparison with those who take mild and less spicy food.

This is an image of healthy food.

Food such as avocados, walnuts, eggs, green and leafy vegetables are good for your brain health. For more information on how the food you eat affects your mental health. Click here.

Conclusion

When it comes to staying mentally healthy, you need to take a little scan of everything that goes into your mind and ask yourself – Does it matter? 

And then decide to take any action or not. It’s just simple as that. In the above post, we have talked about 6 things that you should consider doing if you want to stay mentally healthy and those are:

  • Let go of things that are out of your control
  • Take proper amount of sleep
  • Meditate everyday
  • Don’t care about what others will say/think
  • Know that your happiness is your responsibility
  • Take proper care of what you eat

These tips are too simple and small to take into consideration but do affect your mental health a lot. Now above all, what is that one thing that resonates with you the most and how do you take care of yourself to stay mentally healthy and strong? Tell me in the comments below.

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By Nisha Kohli, ago

5 Secrets to talking to others confidently

Do you also feel shy when it comes to talking to others? Is your conversation too full of  AAHHHs…and UMMMs… more than the real thing you want to talk about?

Well, you are not alone, many people feel this way. It’s a common problem and if it’s your problem too then stick here with me till the end as I’ll be sharing 5 secrets that will help you increase your confidence while talking to someone. 

Many people believe that confidence is something that you are born with, if you are not confident by birth then you cannot be confident ever. But let me tell you, it’s total crap! Don’t let this misconception affect you in any way because it’s not something that you cannot learn. Confidence is a skill and it can be learned like other skills. 

Now, if you think you are not young enough to learn something new, then please don’t do this to yourself. It’s just a thought in your mind and nothing else. Talking to others is an art and you can learn this art too. It doesn’t matter what your age is when it comes to learning something new, what matters though is whether you have a desire to learn it or not.

You might be wondering, do I really need this? The answer for this would be a strong YES. Talking and communicating with others is a crucial part of our lives. You might not realize how important this is for your personal and professional life, but it truly is.

Now if you are thinking, How? Then, go and search around in the corners of your brain and remind yourself of that situation where you felt hesitant and could not say anything. Due to which, you have lost so many opportunities at your workplace. Also if you lack the skill of talking to others confidently, people generally don’t value your opinion. You know it better. Right? 

Not only at work but in your personal life too; if you cannot talk and communicate confidently, people start to lose interest in you. They start to take you for granted which affects your relationship negatively. If you are unable to speak confidently to someone, misunderstanding comes and fills up the voids that have been created due to a lack of talking confidently.

Why do you lack confidence while talking to someone?

This image has a girl with confidence

The main reason why you lack confidence is that you are unable to accept your flaws publicly. You are afraid that people are going to judge you based on your weaknesses and flaws. So you just want to hide your imperfections from them. 

You keep on questioning yourself before and while talking to them about what to say, what not to say, what if I say XYZ… and he/she gets hurt and what not, which leads to stammering and awkward silence situations. Also, it hurts your self-confidence badly.

But no one is perfect, Right? Everyone has their own imperfections which make them unique and one of a kind. So it’s okay, accept your flaws and imperfections with both your arms. Don’t worry about people judging you because no matter what you do, people are going to judge you. It’s a true fact. So, why even worry about it. They are gonna do what they wanna do, so you should also do what you wanna do regardless of what they will think or say. 

Now let’s talk about those 5 secrets that will help you talk to others with confidence, providing you will make an effort and do it. You can stop those awkward situations from happening again in the coming future by learning them.

1. Eye Contact is everything 

Have you ever been there when you are talking to a person but he is just looking here and there instead of looking at you? How would you feel? I know it’s not a very comfortable position to be in, it gives the feeling of negligence. 

The same thing goes with you. When you talk to someone without looking at them, it makes the person feel unheard, and sometimes they may even feel that you are ignoring them. Making eye contact while talking to a person is as important as talking itself. Studies have proved that when a person looks into your eyes, you are more likely to connect with them and vice versa.

Now, if you are a shy person who feels uncomfortable looking into someone’s eyes then try focusing on the glabella(the space between the eyebrows) of the person you are talking to or focus on the color of the pupil of his/her eyes. 

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2. Smile while talking

The eye contact should be subtle, neither too much nor too less. It should not look like you are staring at them which makes them feel uncomfortable and it also should not look like you just looked at them and now are ignoring them. 

this image has people smiling and talking to each other

Smiling is an important part of effective communication. A smiley face is always appreciated against a frowny or blank face. Think of it like this: who would you like to talk to, a person with a warm and welcoming smile on his/her face or a person with no expression on his/her face at all? I know in most cases, you will choose the person with a smile. 

Smiles are contagious. People always smile back when you treat them with a smile on your face. Your smiley face represents that you are a warm and charming personality and people love to connect with a personality like this. 

Giving a smile while talking makes the other person feel that you are happy talking to them. So, always start your conversion with a smile on your face. 

3. Talking to yourself – OUT LOUD

Everyone talks to themselves in their mind, but when it comes to increasing your self-confidence while talking, you should consider talking to yourself – OUT LOUD.

this image says talk to yourself

It’s a very effective way to let everything that’s in your heart come out which is by the way very necessary. Talking to yourself increases your self-confidence and gives you mental peace, as now you have yourself to whom you can talk anything.

You can practice talking to yourself in the mirror for about 10-15 minutes every day. This practice will give you an effective boost in your confidence as it’s you only whom you are talking to. You know what your flaws are and you can work on them accordingly. 

When you talk to yourself – out loud, you will notice the difference between the tone of your voice when you are talking to someone and when you talk to yourself. When a person talks with confidence there is a heaviness in their voice that makes everyone listen to them; on the other hand, the voice goes a little squeaky when a person with a lack of confidence talks.

There are a lot of other factors on which the quality of your speech depends. You can learn more about it here.

4. Don’t be shy to initiate a conversation

How many times have you taken the initiative to talk to someone? I know when you lack confidence, you barely do that. But this is exactly what you want to change. That’s why you are here, right?

This image has people having fun

When you are talking to someone, you are actually trying to make a relationship with them. The relationship can be of any sort; the boss and the employee, client and customer, colleagues, neighbors, friends, family, etc. and it’s your responsibility to maintain that relationship. Taking the initiative to start a conversation with them is a stepping stone towards your win. 

Think of it this way; when you initiate a conversation with someone, you kinda have this feeling in your heart that, “Oooh, I’m the one who started this conversation, it’s because of me we are talking to each other right now.”, which gives a feeling of nothing but proud in yourself which increases your self-esteem. 

Also, your subconscious mind counts this win as your strength and lifts you up from inside. And next time when you are talking to someone it will remind you about this win and boosts your confidence while talking.

So, next time when you see someone you wanna talk to; don’t think too much, just go and talk.

5. Repeat all of the above

‘Practice makes perfect, this saying is too old but true gold. If you want to master the art of talking to others confidently, then you should do it again and again – the more the better. Repeating is the most important thing to do when it comes to learning something new.

When you repeat or practice something every day, your brain starts to capture those things into your subconscious mind which is responsible for most of your activities, generally habit formation. If you want to learn more about how to build a habit then read this blog post on ‘How to develop a new habit to grow in life.’

Conclusion

You work out every day in the gym to remain in good shape, confidence is exactly like that. You need to work on this, and you will be good to go; whether it’s talking to someone or anything else. Let’s take a quick review of these 5 secrets to talk to others confidently that I’ve mentioned above, which includes

  • Maintaining good eye contact, 
  • Smiling while talking, 
  • Talking to yourself – OUT LOUD
  • Initiating a conversation
  • Repeat all of the above.

What are your tac-ticks when it comes to talking to others? Tell me in the comments below.

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